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Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you.

The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.

15 October 2010

Lecture Hall Etiquette 101

We've all been there. Y'know, that one class you take where everyone else in the lecture hall is an absolute idiot. They're so lost and clueless, and I felt bad for them, so this is the list I made for them. Maybe we can have a movement dedicated to printing the list on handy little 3" x 5" index cards and hand them out around campus.

  1. Do not, I repeat, DO FREAKING NOT, sit three rows from the front and play Tetris on an iTouch in teams of two, complete with a cheering squad and betters, while simultaneously having conversations about how many parties you've been to over the weekend or how many people "that girl" has hooked up with or how warm your socks are.
  2. Do not kick the back of the seat of the person sitting in front of you and then act innocent when the person turns around and glares at you.
  3. Do not have conversations with the Professor under your breath. Someone is probably sitting near you thinking something along the lines of, "Oh my God, HE CAN'T HEAR YOU, JUST SHUT UP."
  4. Do not put your foot on the arm rest of the OCCUPIED seat in front of you. Yes, I understand that the person in front of you only uses the front half of the arm rest anyway, and that it's at the perfect level for you to rest your foot on, but don't do it, k?
  5. Do not be that annoying frequent hand raiser that everyone wishes death upon.
  6. Do not try to hit on the cute graduate student who is teaching the course. He's married, and you look retarded asking questions like, "Have you seen that video of the hamster playing piano? Oh my God, its so cute, I have to send it to you!" Sure, its adorable, but contrary to your belief, it has NOTHING to do with statistics.
  7. Do not bring your five year old child to lecture. I can't believe I had to write that one.
  8. Do not try to be a wiseass and answer rhetorical questions like, "We can't do that can we?" or "But who am I to judge?" or "We have to make more NAD+ don't we?"
  9. Do not click that stupid pen of yours over and over again.
  10. Do not make out during Power Point presentations when the lights are conveniently dimmed.
Thanks,
Management


2 comments:

  1. I second the motion to print these on 3x5 index cards and passing them out at frat parties, as party favors.

    ReplyDelete