Meya Meya!

Words in italics are listed and defined at the end of the blog post in the order in which they appeared. Yeah. We mad official.

You know you're Egyptian when...

1. Your parents yell at you for making the shay wrong. That's right. There's a wrong way to make shay.
2. If you're a female, and you do bad in school, your parents tell you to just drop out and marry a makwagi. If you're a male, and you do bad in school, your parents tell you to just drop out and become a makwagi.
3. If you have class at 2:30PM, showing up at 3:00PM is considered "on time" and perfectly admissible.
4. Soccer. You worship it.
5. Supporting a non-Egyptian soccer team against an Egyptian one is nothing short of treason.
6. You are either an Ahlawy or Zamalkawy and you have no reservations in expressing your loyalty to which ever team.
7. Winning the African Cup is something 3ady now.
8. Cario-ans think that Alexandrians are "zibala" and Alexandrians think that Cairo-ans are "be2a".
9. If you're not the doctor, or the lawyer suing the doctor, you are a HOBELESS CASE.
10. Unless you're an engineer of course. Yalla, zay ba3do.
11. Your Palestinian, Jordanian, and Syrian friends make fun of you when you say stuff like, "Ezayek? 3amlah eih? Kolo tamam? Tab kwayes."
12. You walk into a room and say, "Hi ya gama3a."
13. When you ask a stupid question, you're told, "La2 ya gahla, bas kefaya keda. 2omi e3mely shay."
14. People are never happy with what you've achieved. When you graduate, people say, "3o2bal el shehada el kebeira", and when you get that, they say, "3o2bal el 3aroosa or 3arees", and when you get that, they say, "3o2bal ma nefra7 be awladkom", and when you get that, they say, "3o2bal ma terfa7o be shahadithum", etc. It's a never ending circle.
15. "Eshtaaaaa" is your equivalent of "sweeeeeet".
16. Ahmed Elsakka is your equivalent of James Bond.
17. Soad Hosny is your equivalent of Marilyn Monroe.
18. Any hot person is referred to as a "mozza". This is a unisex term.
19. If you're a tan female, you say, "El samar nos el gamal", and if you're a white female, you say, "El bayad el gamal kolo." At the end of the day, white female > tan female (even if she's missing a nose).
20. Speed limits are only advisory. No cob, no stob.
21. Out of respect, you call a male who is older than you "3ammo" and a female who is older than you "Tunt".
22. Everyone is a family friend.
23. You assure your non-Arab friends that there is in fact a difference between your dad yelling because he's on the phone and your dad yelling because he's mad.
24. You eat everything with ruz be shi3reya or 3eish balady.
25. Breakfast includes beid be gibna, fool, ta3meya, anything with eggplant, anything with te7eyna, basterma, etc. and of course, shay bilaban!
26. You think its okay to substitute olive oil for vegetable oil in cake batter and say, "Well at least it's healthy!" when it comes out like crap.
27. You must say that anything your mom cooks is "better than the one we tried at that restaurant".
28. Your dad often started stories off by saying, "Ayam Gamal Abdelnasser…"
29. You've been told not to walk around the house barefoot because you'll catch a cold.
30. You catch yourself telling your little cousins not to walk around the house barefoot because they'll catch a cold.
31. You have na3na3 growing in your back yard, along with at least one fruit tree (we have four…).
32. Your mother has an assassin's accuracy when throwing a shib shib.
33. When you cross the street in the middle of oncoming traffic, your fellow Egyptian friend tells you, "Lemmy nafsek! E7na msh fe masr! Balash fadaye7!"
34. You start off a fiqh question with, "Baba, I heard…" and end with, "Howa dah halal wala haram?"
35. During mango season, your mom buys enough boxes of mango to support a small village during an apocalypse.
36. Your brother can belly dance better than you can.
37. You've watched El Limby at least three times.
38. You start your stories with, "Salli 3al naby."
39. You end your stories with, "Bas ya sedy/ siti".
40. If you're male, there's an 87% chance you are almost always surrounded by a cloud of cigarette or sheesha smoke
41. You have at least one item (a key chain, necklace, bracelet, etc.) with your name written on it in Hieroglyphics.
42. You boast that "Egybshans are za best beoble!"
43. Whenever you watch a new Arabic movie with your parents, they have to say, "Eh dah? Howa lessa 3ayesh??" about at least one actor.

Egyptian-to-English Language Dictionary

Shay: (noun) tea.

Makwagi: (noun) a person who irons clothing.

Ahlawy: (noun) a person who supports the Ahly soccer team and frowns upon the Zamalek team and its supporters.

Zamalkawy: (noun) a person who supports the Zamalek soccer team and frowns upon the Ahly team and its supporters.

3ady: (noun) normal; regular.

Zibala: (noun) trash.

Be2a: (noun) literally, "(bad) environment". It means something to the effect of "trash".

Yalla, zay ba3do: (phrase) Whatever, it's all the same.

Ezayek? 3amlah eih? Kolo Tama? Tab Kwayes.: (phrase) Whatsup? How are you? Evrything okay? That's good.

Hi ya gama3a: (phrase) Hi everyone.

La2 ya gahla, bas kefaya keda. 2omi e3mely shay.: (phrase) No, you ignorant (person). That's it, get up and make tea.

3o2bal el shehada el kebeira: (phrase) 3o2bal your college degree.

3o2bal el 3aroosa or 3arees: (phrase) 3o2bal your wedding.

3o2bal ma nefra7 be awladkom: (phrase) 3o2bal when you have children.

3o2bal ma terfa7o be shahadithum: (phrase) 3o2bal when your children get their degrees.

Eshta: (noun) sweeeeet or niceeeeee.

Mozza: (adjective/ noun): babe.

El samar nos el gamal: (phrase) Being tan is already half the beauty in the world.

El bayad el gamal kolo: (phrase) Being white is all the beauty in the world.

3ammo: (noun) term of respect for addressing older males. Can also mean "brother of my father".

Tunt: (noun) term of respect for addressing older females.

Ruz be shi3reya: (noun) rice with noodles.

3eish balady: (noun) pita bread.

Beid be gibna: (noun) eggs with (feta) cheese.

Fool: (noun) Fava beans.

Ta3meya: (noun) Falafel.

Te7eyna: (noun) Tahini

Basterma: (noun) Pastrami

Shay bilaban: (noun) Tea with milk.

Ayam Gamal Abdelnasser: (phrase) Back in the days of Gamal Abdelnasser (a well-loved Egyptian ruler)...

Na3na3: (noun) Mint leaves

Shib shib: (noun) plastic slipper

Lemy nafsek! E7na msh fe masr! Balash fadaye7!: (noun) Behave yourself! We're not in Egypt! Stop embarrassing us!

Howa dah halal wala haram?: (noun) Is this halal or haram?

El Limby: (noun) Movie starring some dude.

Salli 3al naby: (phrase) literally, say "Muhammad rasool Allah."

Bas ya sedy/ siti: (phrase) That's it.

Eh dah? Howa lessa 3ayesh??: (phrase) Whaaaat? Is he still alive??

Lulz, what did you think I take to school? A car??