Ideas are Bullet Proof

Ever been so consumed by an idea that it was all you could think about?
Ever try to trace back the sinewy web of that idea to its very beginning, to when it was just a mere afterthought?
Ever feel like the idea was literally growing bigger and bigger, until it filled your entire head, until you practically choked on it each time you parted your lips in speech?
Ever feel like the idea was contaminating your brain, so much so that it was the first thing on your mind when you wake and the last thing on your mind when you slumber?
Ever have an idea so venomous, that with every systole and diastole, the poison coursed through your veins?
Ever try talking about it to your friends? You start off with your usual, "So I was thinking again..." and you see the weariness in their eyes, and you can tell that they've heard more than enough of your "idea".
"You think about this too much," and they wave your words away and shake their head.
And you sit there speechless, feeling helpless.
Sometimes it gets better. You'll busy yourself with other things. The idea hasn't disappeared all together, but it's not as bad anymore. You still see it in your peripheral vision, and you keep an eye on it, almost anxiously.
And just when you think you have everything under control, it sneaks up on you and spreads into your neural network, like a drop of ink in a glass of water.

Ideas are bullet proof, but sometimes, do you wish they weren't?

Photo Cred goes to ~hermio.

Head Above The Water

Dearest friend,


You’ll always find another. 

You think you won’t, but trust me, you will. He might break your heart, he might not be right for you, he might not be who you thought he was. But the thing is, love is as much logic and reason as it is blind faith. Perhaps it is more of the former than the latter. If you go into a relationship blinded by your emotions you might as well cross a busy intersection with your hands over your eyes. Your relationship might be drowning you in your own emotions, you might get lost in your feelings for him, but that’s why it’s so important that you keep your head above the water. 

Please keep your head above the water.

This lovey-dovey I-can’t-get-enough-of-you phase won’t last forever, it will fade with use. Its important that there is some substance underneath all that glitter in your relationship.

But if there isn’t…  Then perhaps he isn't right for you. 

Letting go is difficult. Especially for a Muslimah. You go through your life for twenty-some years abstaining from anything that could potentially lead you down the wrong road, and you answered everyone’s inquisitive glances with patience, a simple, “No thanks, I’ll wait for the right one.” And when you finally are in a halal relationship, you become so absorbed in everything that comes with it. Everything you were denied before becomes halal for you, and it becomes so overwhelming that you can't even even wrap your mind around it, and you think to yourself, “He’s the one”, and your heart beat echoes your thoughts - no, it confirms them. He's the one you've been waiting for, he's the right one for you.

...but then things fall apart, as they sometimes have the tendency of doing. And you’re left picking up broken pieces of memories you had together, and the shards of your broken heart scratch your palms as you try to pick them off the floor. And you think to yourself you’ll never find another one. No, you’ll never find another like him.

It’s funny, the term ‘human’ in Arabic is ‘ensan’ and it comes from the word ‘nasa’ meaning ‘forgot’. 

How you’ve lived up to your name, oh ensan! 

Have you forgotten so quickly all your previous crushes? Have you forgotten the first time a boy tore your heart in two and handed you the pieces? Have you forgotten how you swore you would never recover, how you would surely die of this heart break? Have you forgotten how you cried, how you said there isn’t another like him in the world? Have you forgotten the ache in your bones every time you saw him thereafter, knowing he wasn’t meant for you?

But oh ensan, have you forgotten how strong you are?

More importantly, have you forgotten how you moved on?

Picture sorta unrelated. I just thought it was cute.